Michelle Dison

First appearance: October 7, 2006

Michelle is a recent divorcee reporter. She's an emotional wreck, and when interviewing females for news segments, constantly hits on them. She persists, offering them a cruise or dinner, until it gets really really weird, they leave, and she's deeply embarassed. The anchor, Gil, watches amused from the newsdesk.

Quotes

"Uh your, your face, uh your skin, it’s like a doll. You’re like a doll, a doll that I would buy. And I don’t even buy dolls, but I’d want you. No, I’m not saying that I want you… but if you were a doll I would want a you doll…uh for my doll collection, which I would immediately start."

"Do you know what the leading cause of apartment fires is? Heh, her body."

"You, you should model. The combination of your face, and all this, uh... you could be modeling--you should be modeling. That camera there would love you. This camera loves you. My camera, these camera eyes... ...love you. I love you. I mean, I don't even know you... But... the way you look is, um... is really great."

"I mean, your face is, um, one of a kind. I mean, I know all faces are one of a kind--unless you're a twin, then, um..."

Appearances